The Perfect Wife

The Perfect Wife

by Lynsay Sands

Avelyn was determined to be the perfect wife - as meek and biddable as any woman - but her husband-to-be wanted the burning fire he had glimpsed in her.

  • Language: English
  • Category: Romance
  • Rating: 3.87
  • Pages: 354
  • Publish Date: October 1st 2005 by Leisure Books
  • Isbn10: 084395499X
  • Isbn13: 9780843954999

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Not everyone likes a stick figure, you know? But the truth is that Paen is just praying that she's not some skinny little thing. To keep things from getting stale, there was also a side plot about someone trying to kill off Avelyn and make it look like an accident. This wasn't the worst thing I've ever read, and if you're looking for a piece of quasi-historical fluff, you could do worse than this one.

Good lord the dialogue and non-existent plot just put me to sleep and don't get me started on the ridiculous hi-jinx plot points and bizarre dialogue. This was just a 'Oh good g-d, what in the HELL is this??' kind of book for me. I've read Regency/historical romance books with humorous dialogue or tone and this definitely wasn't it. None of it came off as humorous to me but rather ridiculously silly and contrived and really embarrassing plot points to humiliate the heroine for g-d knows what reason. And while I'm at it, I just could not understand why the author was so adamant in putting the poor clueless heroine through stunt after stunt of mind-numbingly humiliating 'incidents' just to create some kind of 'misunderstanding' between her and her husband Paen. And yes the fact that someone was behind it was obvious but lost my interest quickly because I was losing patience with how many times the heroine was humiliated in front of her husband and his family. Because of this, both characters just came off looking idiotic, silly and not even remotely interesting. etc., so instead of helping her like any other husband would do he keeps running to his parents asking for their advice and getting them involved in nearly everything. And the heroine thinking her gallant husband is 'oh so brave and sweet!' while trying to save her when he thinks she's drowning is not even remotely funny or cute, considering the fact that he parades her around in front of everyone BUCK NAKED with her ass up in the air on top of a horse. But the final line for me (you would think after that awful idiotic horse incident it couldn't possibly get worse RME) that turned me off completely was the scene where Avelyn asked Paen where the servants were in the house and in his ever graceless patronizing way tells her upstairs-- as if she's a halfwit, stairs which mind you are are clearly broken and missing some steps. I could not understand the characters who were all completely one-dimensional, dialogue boring as ever with some major grammar issues or just confusing as hell to understand and plot points that were more loosey goosey and cringe-worthy then 'funny'. At least flesh out the hero and heroine, I have no idea what Paen even looks like except he has dark hair, is a giant and is well endowed.

They require us to suspend all logical thought period.

Pean has to work hard to convince of how much she fits his ideal woman. What pulled me out of the story was that Avelyn has very loving parents and a brother, why would they have let these poisonous cousins continue to have contact with their daughter, when they knew they were saying mean and horrible things to their daughter. Those are things that pulled me out of the story.

And then there's a super-stupid sub-plot (bc this book, which was already resemblant of the Three Stooges, really needed extra hijinks) that didn't help anything out. On an extra bad note - an author repeatedly describing kissing as "passionately" begins to convince me that the kisses were anything but.

Paen and Averlyn were sweet, likeable characters. Though there were many slapstick, clumsy occurrences that happened to the newlywed couple, these event helped Paen and Averlyns romance to build slowly as they got to know each others personalities. I wish there were more contemporary writers who could do justice to the genre like Lynsay Sands, Julie Garwood, Barbara Longley, Monica McCarthy, and Suzanne Robinson.

They also had the problem of accidents that kept happening to Avelyn. I also thought that Paen was wonderful when he figured out how to help Avelyn accept how valued she was.

Paen has much hope for his betrothed and after a disastrous wedding ceremony and a disastrous beginning of the feast he has came to sooth Avelyn and finds that she is really quite beautiful when she isn't tresses up like a turkey and sucking in her cheeks.

With her witty and charming personality, Sands describes books as, Waking dreams or stories, tales to amuse, entertain and distract us from everyday life.