Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage

Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage

by Dave Carder

For this reason, Close Calls should be on every church leaders and marriage counselors required reading list.Includes charts and assessments.

  • Language: English
  • Category: Marriage
  • Rating: 3.75
  • Pages: 208
  • Publish Date: April 1st 2008 by Northfield Publishing
  • Isbn10: 0802442110
  • Isbn13: 9780802442116

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So when I saw Anatomy of an Affair I was interested to see what safeguards it could offer as advice to establish in my own marriage to prevent infidelity. Perhaps the biggest thing I took away from this book combined with my own personal experience is that so many affairs begin with friendships ( or coworkers). I'm sure plenty of people disagree, but just reading the stories of the couples in this book as well as I've said, my own personal experience, reaffirms my thoughts on this subject. However, if you're reading this book in the midst of these types of situation in your own marriage, I think there are some helpful topics of discussion and worksheets for you. I'm not sure that this book would substitute for the needed marriage counselling. But one thing I realized while reading this book...It is my responsibility and the least I can do to make sure that I am giving my all to my husband. It is my responsibility to ensure that when I feel times of lows in myself and in our marriage (because they have and will come and go), that I work my tail off to get us out of them. It is my responsibility to ensure that I protect myself against falling into friendships that go beyond the appropriate so as to prevent an affair. However, I'm not sure that Anatomy of an Affair substitutes for marriage counselling if you're in the midst of an affair or recently discovered affair of your spouse.

I read this book the same time I was reading Tim Keller's "The Meaning of Marriage" and found that "Close Calls" simply meets a "consumeristic marriage" culture (as Keller puts it) where they are at, rather than reminding Christians that their marriage isn't consumeristic, but is actually "covenantal".

"This book is so important." That's what I kept thinking as I read it. "Anatomy of an Affair" gave real instruction and practices that you can take right into your marriage and apply. I know I will be using so much of what I learned to strengthen and guard my marriage, and I'm sure anyone who picks up this book will as well.

The author helps you identify warning signs and triggers and close calls in your marriage and personal life. This book helps you identify weak spots and provides the rools and resources to repair and recover your marital relationship.

I think this book could be extremely helpful to those people who are concerned about a possible affair. But honestly, if people read this book I think it could keep them from going places they shouldnt.

This book was written by someone who is specialized in counseling people in marriages that are walking through sexual temptation and infidelity.

Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage by David Carder is a fantastic book about what affairs someone might be prone towards, what is a danger marriage, and what is a healthy marriage. Chapter 1 contains the Dangerous Partner Profile. The lack of these in the marriage, and their presence in a dangerous partner can lead to a close call. There are two excellent excurses in this chapter on mens use of sex as self-medicating behavior and the special difficulties faced by needy people. Chapter 4 is titled Risky Marriage and has an excellent chart for plotting the health of ones marriage, chronicling important seasons, such as: college, births, deaths, jobs, vacations, moves, accidents, financial issues, counseling and living arrangements. There are several good exercises for couples to do together with their charts. Chapter 6 is about assessing ones marriage style. The three most dangerous marriages are the ones always fighting, never fighting, and always living for their kids. There are helpful charts/worksheets for each. Anger, Power and Control are areas we likely learned without thinking from our family of origin, but play a crucial role in the status of our marriages. Carder suggest respect (with a worksheet) and trust (made up of structure, safety, nonsexual touch, and speech tone/content) are key.

Dave Carder serves as pastor of counseling ministries at First Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton, California.